I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
