so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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