awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
