can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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