now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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