i'm signing you up for texting rehab
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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