Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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