Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
