Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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