White coat. Heels.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
