I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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