we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
