I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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