Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
