Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
why does every cop we meet know your name?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
