marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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