we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
