at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
