i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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