she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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