he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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