Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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