Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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