it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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