He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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