she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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