He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
