So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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