Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
