Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
