Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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