yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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