was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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