A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
