I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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