you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
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I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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