her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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