Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
