You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
