her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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