This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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