i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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