Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
