no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
