I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
