Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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