well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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