I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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