i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
