I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
