if i can run in heels then i can drive
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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