I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the gays at disneyland are vicious
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
