I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
wow bdsm is so cute
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
