community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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