I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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