Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
