Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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